| The Pit |
[Dec. 23rd, 2007|11:54 pm] |
Standing pale upon a platform
I gaze, helpless, at the crumbling floor.
In all despair I watch those I love
Fall victim to the daemon in the moor.
I want to leave today, stand upon the mountaintops –
Vanish from the eyes of the beast –
I want to leave today – let me forget your name.
Mediocrity, boorish ignorance – the enigmas you shan’t best.
Shall I be the last one alive?
Can I survive; avoid the beast within the moor?
All those around me cry and slip into oblivion,
Unable to escape the grave at their door.
Forevermore shall they remain
Within the life they’ve chosen,
Stuck within the daemon’s grasp,
Their ambitions and future forever frozen.
I want to leave today, experience all
That life may offer.
I want to leave today – escape the darkness’ grasp.
I will be free – No longer shall I suffer. |
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| Funeral |
[Jan. 29th, 2007|12:33 am] |
Dance in silence, I watch in sadness,
Slowly move across the floor.
You look at me with soft intent,
Your eyes glimmer with crystal tears.
Hand in hand with unknown souls -
The dew drops fall from trees dismayed.
Dance along the cobbled pathways,
Hopeless mourning to distant stars.
Muscles lax and you fall away
To the single note of the organ's song.
I glide toward you, hope to catch you,
But time stands still for no one.
I watch, still mourning - in denial!
Like a child behind frosted glass -
A prisoner to life's graceful horror,
Slowly you fall and hit the floor.
And likened to a fragile painting,
Frost-bitten and thoroughly frozen,
You seemed to shatter there before me,
Never again the soul I'd known.
Strewn across the cobbled path,
A mosaic of all you once were,
Like fragments of a stained glass window,
Once an artform to behold.
And all around they dance still onward,
And onward to the organ's cry.
Hand in hand with fear and sorrow,
All in woe to the crux of life. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 7th, 2006|11:51 pm] |
|
So... last night I got into a car accident. Not a lot of fun at all. Luckily Eivis and I were not severely hurt. Eivis got a shiner on her face and a cut tongue, I ended up with aching ankles, but thats about it. My car is more or less totalled. It will cost about 2000 - 2500 to fix, not worth it really... as much as I love the car. There is construction going on on Glades road, as most should know. There was a women in the far right lane that ended, and she was trying to merge into the left hand lane, the same one I was in. The man in front of me in his '02 BMW slowed slightly, so I compensated, then he stopped dead in the road to let her in. I couldnt stop fast enough in the '94 Toyota Camry I have... thus I slammed on my brakes and hoped for the best. The road was wet, and one car space between myself and he was not enough space at all and I skidded into his rear. So, legally it was my fault and I got a ticket for "Losing control of the vehicle," which is fucking bullshit, but what can I do? Honestly, if the Florida believes that a 94 station wagon can stop as quickly as an '02 BMW, they're fucking crazy. Well, thats about it. Damage: radiator destroyed, oil coolent and air coolant system destroyed, bumper and headlights broken in, hood bent upward... and a bit more that I do not have memorized. |
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| New Poem! |
[Aug. 12th, 2006|08:51 pm] |
This poem took some time to write... but I am extremely happy with the way it turned out, for once it actually came out the way I had intended while it was in my head. I know it looks long, but please read it, you'll find its not that long at all, and not hard to understand.
I have come afar to visit here,
From lands distant and often feared,
To seek the light that fills my heart,
No matter the pain that follows, a part
Of life's treck to find comfort reveared,
Though it was harsh, and darkness leered
From every corner along the way,
Pain was common - my soul is frayed,
I believe my faith will not betray.
I was beckoned and without delay,
(A pulse within my being triggered,
This was the flare to go, I figured.)
I set off to find this love of mine.
So where, I ask, is this women so fine?
She is here somewhere, and so I must find
The girl who's light is more divine
Than life or nature, or even poetry,
Who's presence could ward off any calamity!
I know not her name, but visions did tell
That she is the goddess of this realm,
One who rules without need of a label,
Her voice and demeanor are like those in a fable
That all obey in awe of her presence,
With a bat of a lash they'd give her - presents!
Alike to Jesus on the night of his birth,
Gifts are given for naught but the mirth
Of her creation, a miracle all of its own!
She lives over yonder, at the edge of the town?
Then I will visit and meet my fate,
And finally be united with my soulmate!
I will return then and thank you well
For the help you have given to a man who does swell
With an overload of happy emotions,
And now I am off with a stride in my motions.
Alas! I am back and filled with despair!
For she looked at me without a care
And asked why I would possibly dare
To talk to someone of her stature and flare.
She dismissed me like one would to a fly,
And told me that if I ever again came by
She would have me tortured more
Than any man who has tried before.
This was the comment that had me so stricken,
Her beauty a facade, and true actions hidden
Behind a mask made to fool
All who see her, to make them her tool.
Her life is nothing more than fake
In order to gain all in her wake,
Everything she could possibly desire
Is gained this way, through lies and hellfire.
I have traveled darkness to reach tranquility
Yet I gained nothing but more calamity,
My view on humanity has lost its gleam,
Like mud thrown into the purest stream,
It is now tainted more than ever,
My hope for Man as now been severed.
Goodbye to you, and goodluck, friend
For Man's hopes and dreams will soon end. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 2nd, 2006|06:56 pm] |
This is a poem I wrote for someone who asked me to write about how people seem to carry on with their lives, always busy and always on the same schedual everyday - sort of as though they were robots. I, however chose to interpret it in a different manner. Tell me what you think.
All around me, you twist and turn
On scheduals of some importance.
I am there, ignored, unseen, and I yearn
For you to release me.
Within the crowd I stand forever,
Watching you with eyes forgiving,
I cry to you, but my voice is severed,
Will nobody help me?
I cry for you as you shuffle by,
Captive to your own beliefs,
The life you live is but a lie,
What truly matters cries before you.
I am dying, but you care not,
And society deems it justified.
For who would care if an unknown soul,
Were to die today?
And if I drowned my mind in drugs,
Fell away from pain and darkness,
And slept in rain, covered in slugs,
Who of you would notice?
You carry onward while I sing,
Giving me a passing glance,
But none of you feel the sting
From the horrors I have witnessed.
You are captive to the lie
That I have so formentioned,
The life you live blinds you now
To those who struggle, yet die. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 13th, 2006|06:37 pm] |
Because Ellie asked... =P
Name 3 schools you went to:
1. Ray Shepard
2. Logger's Run
3. Boca High
Name 3 things in your wallet:
1. ID
2. Florida License
3. My Debit Card
Name 3 things you always wear:
1. Wolf Necklace/ Tibetian wolf tooth necklace
2. Leather Belt?
3. Watch
Name 3 things you do when you are really stressed:
1. Sit, shut out everyone unless I wish to talk with them, and think
2. Pace, mutter random thoughts
3. Smoke
Name 3 favorite songs right now:
1. "Pictures of You" The Cure
2. "Screw" The Cure
3. "Get Up" Unwritten Law
Name 3 favorite places to shop:
1. Target
2. CVS (Cigarettes)
3. The little corner store near my house (Mmmm... Monster Drinks...)
Name 3 places you go to on a daily basis:
1. Barnes N Noble
2. The smoking area in my backyard
3. My Room
Name 3 things you like to do:
1. Play Games
2. Drive to random places for the hell of it
3. Talk to someone about philosophy/ thoughts, ideas, etc.
Name 3 most valuable possessions:
1. PS2 and PSP
2. My car
3. My knife and sword collection
Name 3 favorite fruits:
1. Mangos
2. Raspberries
3. Grapefruits
Name 3 things you are addicted to:
1. Caffeine
2. Cigarretes
3. Company...
Name 3 favorite hobbies:
1. Video games
2. Sword/Martial Art practice
3. Writing
Name 3 career choices:
This is and probably will be for a very long time, a difficult decision. I'm not all too sure what to do with my life just yet - career choices scare me...
1. Novelist/ Writer
2. Journalist
3. Vet or doctor
Name 3 goals in 2006:
1. Get my car fixed up
2. Get a better job
3. Go to England
Name 3 plans for next week:
1. Get my tail lights fixed
2. Save money
3. Start writing my novel again
Three Names You Go By:
1. Dylan
2.Wolfy
3. Agonumyr
Three Parts of Your Heritage:
1. Norweigian
2. Italian
3. English (no surprise)
Three Things That Scare You:
1. Drugs
2. Car Crashes
3. Betrayal
Three of Your Everyday Essentials:
1. Cigarettes
2. Food
3. Sleep/sex
Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now:
1. Baggy Shirt
2. Wolf Necklace
3. Cargo Pants
Three of Your Favorite Bands or Musical Artists:
1. The Cure
2. Unwritten Law
3. VAST
Three Things You Want in a Relationship (OTHER THAN Love):
1. Good Conversation
2. Trust
3. Understanding
Two Truths and a Lie (in no particular order):
1. I have an allergy
2. I detest drugs
3. I have a green trench coat
Three PHYSICAL Things about the Opposite Sex that Appeal to You:
1. Eyes
2. Hair
3. Legs
Three Places You Want to go on Vacation:
1. England
2. France
3. Italy
Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Finish my novel
2. Be understood by others
3. Learn all knowledge I desire and be wisened more so from it
Three people I would like to see take this quiz:
1. Amie
2. Dustin
3. Jon Miller |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 14th, 2006|12:39 pm] |
Main Entry: ignorance
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: unintelligence
Synonyms: benightedness, bewilderment, blindness, callowness, creeping meatballism, crudeness, denseness, disregard, dumbness, empty-headedness, fog, greenness, half-knowledge, illiteracy, incapacity, incomprehension, innocence, inscience, insensitivity, mental incapacity, naïveté, nescience, oblivion, obtuseness, philistinism, rawness, sciolism, shallowness, simplicity, unawareness, unconsciousness, uncouthness, unenlightenment, unfamiliarity, unscholarliness, vagueness.
Haha, I love dictionary.com. |
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| I'm spitting these out like my rejection to love |
[Mar. 1st, 2006|05:14 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  morose | ] |
Slit the wrist and follow Styx
To where the void resides.
Screams are null and voice denies
The message gargled and mixed.
Slip and drown in bloodied water;
For surface water is so deceiving.
The eddys' flow is so consuming
There is no time for my hide's slaughter.
I cannot see and cannot hear
Nor feel the spirit's light.
Lost am I in Nature's spite,
The life one lives in fear. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 26th, 2006|07:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | melancholy | ] |
Strange poem I wrote not too long ago, didn't work out quite as I wanted it to, but thats how poems usually go. Strange rhyme scheme too - not many noticed it.
However, I'm sure perhaps 1 in 50 will read this, so I doubt any of you will give a shit anyway.
Believe what you will -
In the eyes of the sour
It matters not that the heart
Sits on the shadowed sill
While its fruits rot and cower,
For all good things decay and part.
We deny all that we see
As temporary, illusionary,
And much too abstract.
Sight is distortion, a fog on the sea.
Eyesight hinders and reveals the contrary
To the truth behind the entity's act.
No more is pain but a passing calamity
In life's eternal struggle through naught -
A simple feeling like that of the heart
As it sits on the sill with a bleeding sanity.
Through the eyes of the sour, wit and thought
Mean more than any emotion has got. |
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| PSP |
[Jan. 20th, 2006|03:30 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cheerful | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Halo 2 in background | ] |
Typing this on my new PSP, bitches! Got it a few days ago. =) |
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| New Poem |
[Jan. 16th, 2006|09:37 pm] |
I know no one ever reads them, but here's another poem I wrote recently:
Deep within entwining fogs,
Thoughts embrace the deadened bogs.
Creatures cry, lost in the black,
Seeking the life of which they lack.
Hunger screams in a sightless cave
Where bodies lie, doomed to slave
For Nature's will, inevitable fate,
Engraved forever on an abstract slate.
They cry in vanity, in all sincerity,
Blind to life's vile lethargy.
To suffer forever and indulge the pain
Lies hope and reason an enemy slain.
Enjoy, I suppose. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 29th, 2005|06:52 pm] |
Finally! A JOB!
It's about goddamn time, too. So, now I can begin saving for a car, and perhaps the trip to Russia (if everything works out). Lots to save for... Haha at least the job is easy, or should be most of the time. Dustin got a job there too, as it says in his lj, so we get to mess around during the downtime. Woot. Yeah, we work Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays, so if you wish to see us, go ahead, its in Mizner (Sunrise Movies). Unfortunatly, since I work Fridays, that means I do not get to see Eivis as much... well, I'll figure it out, and either way, I need the money.
W00t. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 2nd, 2005|11:39 am] |
I wrote another poem last night at about 2:30 am western time/ 5:30 eastern.
I dont know how many of you will be able to actually figure out the real meaning behind the poem, read between the lines - if you read at all.
"Apathy!" She shouted
"Dissapear without trace!
Shred your eyes
And gauge your heart
Bleed in pain
In your hallow place!"
So here I sit in dampened sorrow,
Numb from cold and tattered flesh.
Lacerations allow a moment's peace
To cut away the entrapping mesh.
Here lies a story
Where love turns grey,
Where souls ignite
And wither away
Like plants in sunshine
With the absense of rain -
With Excessive life
And a lacking of pain.
So blind to the thought
That all could go scew,
I denied the fact that
A new life was due!
And in certainty that
My life was gold,
I left her too long
To face a world so cold.
Alas! it was born
And ne're was I there!
And for this I bleed
And die without care.
Here rests a story
Where love turns grey,
Where arrogance strives
And slaughters the day.
I'll tell you this much, it doesnt have anything to truly do with love or arrogance, those are all merely parts of the whole. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 11th, 2005|09:44 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Peter Murphy | ] |
After so long! I wrote another poem!
It's been somewhere around 4 months since I last wrote one... 4 months of nothingness...
Gaze into the eyes of the unyielding night
Forever depression strangles the light.
Behold the pain in all futility,
Bury the dead within your grave.
Stand alone against the winds
Fight forever the eye of your storm.
Hate the waves that drowned the light
Allow the cold to shred your skin.
Scream forever in your despair
Accept isolation of the crypt.
Acknowledge the light that is no more –
Breathe your blood that floods the floor.
Gaze into the eyes of the unyielding night
Endless darkness envelops your soul.
Behold the pain in all futility,
Forever have you strangled the light.
It had been too long. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 29th, 2005|02:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Pink Floyd - The Wall | ] |
Oh jesus christ its been a while since i've been on here. Alright, well for spring break my family and I went on a cruise down through the carribean with a bunch of friends from Canada... and there were A LOT OF CANADIANS on that cruise! Fun stuff. Terrain, John, Hanjo and a bunch of others I havnt met before, but the main gang was those three, my sister, and I. We stopped off at a islands, got sunburned on the Princess Cays... gave me a tan too. haha. Martinique was great - I went exploring the island by myself because I could not find my family - I liked that. I was propositioned weed by 3 people there, one of them wanted my watch in exchange for an extremely large bag of it. I liked my watch too much though. Islanders are so funny. Later on at St. Lucia though, John, Hanjo and I went walking around the city by ourselves - and since John and I both have long hair, every man and his dog (Including little kids) came up to us to sell weed - and many of them would dress like merchants selling necklaces to "cover up" their act. Funny funny. We met Sunshine, he was awesome. He's all like "You buy from me, I take care of you. I protect you from the others." What a nice man =P. I bet he's high as the sky right now. Another guy came up to me and said "Come, come with me and your friends and we'll talk about the island, listen to Bob Marley, and smoke some weed, all for 15 dolla's." I was tempted. Bob Marley kicks ass.
And during the night, we'd go to the back of the ship and drink rum and coke, a beer or two if we had them, and smoke a cigar. Well, Chloe didn't smoke the cigars.. although I got her to try once =P
On the second to last night there, we got completely wasted... 84% rum! Yum, tasted just like Rubbing Alcohol. We ordered beers off room service too, since they didnt care about the age ^_^
Terrain and I at one point went to buy cigarretes and we met a guy named Jon. He sold us a pack for $20 and we spoke with him for a long time while Chloe was eating crushed crackers off the floor in one of our rooms, hanging with John and Hanjo. hahahaha. Every time we finished a beer though, Jon would just hand us another. What a nice guy - and funny enough, he lives in Canada... in White Rock... off 15th and 132nd.... which is TWO BLOCKS AWAY FROM WHERE I USED TO LIVE! So when I go back to Canada in June, Terrain, Jon, Hanjo, Chloe and I are gonna hang with him. Oh man that'll be fun ^_^
All in all, it was a fun and crazy trip. I'm glad to be home, but I'm gonna miss the free food (we went to the 24 hour buffet waaaaay too often.. and the sodas were free.... we ate too much) and my friends. Ah well, I'll see them during the summer.
Hahahaha ZWXZ THC Why won't Garrett just love me!? First comes love... then comes he... I'm just like a stupid flea!
hahahahahaha John, you and I are the best at singing that song! |
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|
| 0.o |
[Feb. 19th, 2005|06:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | meh | ] |
In your eyes, people see shards of ice
everywhere... You are cold and distant, pushing
away people that love you and truely care for
you! You want to be able to reach out and love
them but... You can't for some reason... You're
just too.... You :P Underneath that cold
exterior lies a warm, happy soul that wants to
let loose and have fun! Your sanctuary would
probably be anywhere up high where you can look
down on life below you, like the roof of an
apartment building... Your eyes resemble a
saddened, crestfallen person seeking out
attention, but doesn't know how to handle it.
However, you do find comfort from your friends,
they're always there for you, and they know the
REAL you :) Even though you do seem rather
cold, you can be very protective over something
you truely believe in or love. Let go of that
"tough" rep and just be you! It's
impossible to live life without some fun and
love ^-^
What Lies Behind Your Eyes? (With Pics, See All Results!)
brought to you by Quizilla
..ok? |
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| Dream |
[Feb. 3rd, 2005|09:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | ...? | ] |
I remember a dream I had a few days ago, it's been bothering me ever since I had it.
It was very vivid, I was on a moving platform or vehicle of some sort with a few friends, namely Dustin, Mike and Falko - there may have been more but they were not focused on, nor was the vehicle on which we were in - thought it was enclosed and we were all standing, staring off somewhere though I could not make out what (It was in a birds eye view - not through my own eyes).
Then it changed - I was on a grassy hillside, it was bright, though there were clouds in the sky. I was watching a large train going across a bridge not too far from me, basically the same height as the hill. The bridge went in a curve and the train was going faster and faster - until it went so fast that it derailed itself and crashed on the ground in flames. I ran down there, thinking I might be of help - if not just of curiosity.
What I saw was disturbing, though it did not disgust me - it was just disturbing.
I remember seeing fire everywhere, and within the train (it must have been a passenger train) I remember hearing a kid sobbing, and I heard a man comforting him saying "It will be ok, hush now" - I believe the man was a medic - and so I turned in their direction. As the man was saying this, he was cutting the boy's leg off with a knife. It was incinerated completely, burned and blackened. The knife in comparison to that boys leg was small. If I remember right, the boy had black hair, short with bangs that nearly came up to his right eye - he did not have bangs near his left (cow lick perhaps). I could not see his eyes though, as he was staring at the ground.
Everywhere else there was pain and suffering, people screaming and crying - everyone was hurt and burned. As I kept walking, I came up to a wall that seemed to be made of limbs and body pieces, with people mixed in - screaming in pain - perhaps the limbs were theirs. It was a bloody mess, though I do not remember if they were merely stuck to the wall or were a wall themself - as this was where I woke.
It's weird though, I want to dream of this again - I want to know what it's about, I want to see the end.
It seemed real... |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 2nd, 2005|08:53 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Cure - Disintegration | ] |
I recently found a poem I wrote out a year ago while in Washington. I like it a lot, and typed it out - though I know no one will more than likely read it, here it is:
I’ve heard of such tales
Where friends apart meet.
I’ve heard of such tales
Of happiness true.
I wonder, though, if ever we’ll embrace
And watch the sun sink down.
I wonder, though, if we’ll ever hold hands
And romp through powdered snow.
Imagine the sights of crystalline mountains
And sunshine reflecting on ice.
Imagine the touch of frozen water
And my warm palm upon your cheek.
I wonder now if ever we’ll meet
And smile into each other’s eyes.
I wonder now if ever we’ll sit
And talk of sensual bliss.
It’s strange to think we’ve never met
And yet I can see you well.
It’s strange to think we always spoke
Yet I know so little of you.
It’s strange to know we’ve never met
Yet I see your friendly eyes.
It’s strange to know we always spoke
Yet I understand little of you.
I’ve heard of such tales
Where friends apart meet.
I’ve heard of such tales
Of happiness true.
I know of friends, once apart, now lovers
Yet unsure of our own destined path.
But…
It’s nice to imagine a moment together,
Friends surrounded by glittering snow.
Northern lights are an amiable pleasure,
Setting our faces with an amourous glow.
Hike up trails with a chill wind on our face
And scents of pollen and pines adrift.
Sleep under stars and stare into space
And sweet dreams at night offer a lift
From gravity’s pull upon your legs
With perhaps the help of potent kegs.
Such ideas are nice and lighten the heart,
But still they are dreams, not goals.
But forever we are friends, and close,
Though I miss the days where we spoke. |
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| I got bored .... It's funny how no one reads poems though =P |
[Feb. 2nd, 2005|06:00 pm] |
A distant candle burns alone upon decrepid stone.
The shelf itself so dark and shattered,
A constant conflict to hold the light.
Never rest,
No, never quit.
Behold the pain
Lo, bare the strain and contemplate the darkness' kiss.
A lonely wind so chill and sharp rises through the cobbled floor.
Threatening like the dagger's point,
Pushing against the weakened light.
Twist and bend
To save your life.
The flame so fragile and terribly weak.
Twist and bend
Lo, do not fracture,
Bare the strain through darkness' reign. |
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